Child, Teen and Adult Mental Health

Stories, signs to notice and what to do

The Boy Who Could Not Sit Still

Aryan, nine, studies in a busy school in Ahmedabad. He cannot stay in his seat, forgets his homework, blurts out answers and loses his things. His teacher calls him naughty, and his classmates avoid him after he pushed a boy in frustration. At home, his father shouts and his mother cries.

Aryan, however, is also kind. He feeds the street dog every morning and knows the names of all the birds on the balcony. He tells his grandmother, "I try to listen, but my head is too noisy. Everyone is angry with me." He has started saying he is stupid.

The school counsellor suggests an assessment. The paediatrician and psychologist find that Aryan has attention and activity difficulties, which are common in children and not caused by bad parenting. The family and school agree on a plan: short tasks, clear routines, seating near the teacher, praise for effort and regular play. His parents learn to notice what he does right. After a few months, Aryan says, "The noise is smaller. Teacher smiles at me now."

His mother says the best change was in the evenings. Instead of reminders and arguments, they now share a short game, and she tells him each night one thing he did well.

How to recognise it

• Constant restlessness, poor attention and impulsive behaviour in more than one setting, such as home and school.
• Frequent trouble, scolding and falling self-esteem.
• Lasting for months, not just on bad days.
• Underlying kindness and strengths that adults overlook.
• Possible other causes to check, such as hearing, vision, learning or anxiety problems.

What this story explains

This story shows child mental health issues such as attention difficulties, and the role of family and school in understanding behaviour as a sign of need.

Probable root causes

• Differences in brain development, often with a family history.
• Sleep problems or other health issues.
• Unrealistic expectations and lack of structure at school or home.
• Stress, such as shouting or conflict at home.
• Undiscovered learning difficulties.

What to do

1. Look beyond the behaviour and ask what the child might be struggling with.
2. Arrange a health and developmental check with a paediatrician.
3. Work with the teacher on a joint plan with clear routines and short tasks.
4. Give instructions one at a time and praise good behaviour immediately.
5. Provide daily physical play and a regular sleep time.
6. Keep a calm, consistent approach at home.

Whom to consult

• Paediatrician or family doctor for the first check, including hearing and vision.
• School counsellor or special educator for classroom support.
• Child psychologist or child psychiatrist for formal assessment and guidance.

Do and don’t

How to behave and communicate

• Use a calm, warm voice at the child's eye level.
• Say: "I know it is hard. Let us try the first part together."
• Give one instruction at a time and check he heard it.
• Praise specifically: "You packed your bag. Well done."
• Listen to his side before correcting.

Sofia and the Glow of the Screen

Sofia, fifteen, lives in Johannesburg. She was a cheerful girl, but since moving to a new school she spends hours online comparing herself to girls who seem to have perfect lives. She has started skipping meals and snapping at her parents. Her friends say she has become distant.

One night, her mother hears her crying behind the door. Sofia says, "Everyone is better than me. I look awful." She shows some cuts on her arm, made in a moment of distress. Her mother is frightened but stays calm and holds her. "Thank you for showing me," she says. "I love you, and we will get help."

The next day they visit the doctor and see the school counsellor. They learn that the teenage years bring big changes in the brain, body and identity, and that peer pressure and social media can make difficult feelings worse. Sofia begins talking therapy and sets screen limits with her parents. They also eat meals together without lecturing. A few months later, Sofia says, "I found out I am not the only one who felt this way."

Her parents also shared their own teenage worries with her. Sofia says hearing that adults once felt unsure about their looks made her feel normal and less ashamed.

How to recognise it

• Withdrawing from family and friends, changes in mood, sleep and eating.
• Constant comparison and harsh talk about body or worth.
• Signs of self-harm such as hidden marks, or talk of feeling worthless.
• Time online increasing while real-life activities fall.
• Changes lasting more than two weeks, or any self-harm, need attention.

What this story explains

This story shows adolescent mental health, including identity and peer pressure, social media effects, self-harm warning signs and supportive approaches.

Probable root causes

• Changes in body, hormones and identity in adolescence.
• Peer pressure and online comparison.
• Moving school and loss of friendships.
• Perfectionism and low self-esteem.
• Lack of someone to talk to openly.

What to do

1. Stay calm and respond with care if you discover self-harm.
2. Thank her for trusting you and say you will help.
3. Arrange medical and counselling support promptly.
4. Agree on screen limits together, not as punishment.
5. Keep family meals and sleep times steady.
6. If she is in danger or talks of ending her life, stay with her and contact the local emergency number or go to the nearest hospital.

Whom to consult

• Family doctor or paediatrician for the first assessment.
• School counsellor for daily support.
• Child and adolescent psychologist or psychiatrist for ongoing help.
• Emergency service or hospital immediately if she is unsafe.

Do and don’t

How to behave and communicate

• Use a gentle voice: "I am not angry. I want to understand what you are feeling."
• Let her talk without interrupting.
• Say: "Thank you for telling me. You are not alone."
• Avoid lectures; ask open questions.
• Be available at odd hours when she is ready.

Neha Stops Saying Yes

Neha, thirty-eight, is a project manager in Bengaluru and mother of two. Her day starts at five and ends at midnight: office calls, school lunches, in-laws' needs, house chores. She prides herself on being reliable. Lately she has lost her temper over small things, forgets appointments and cries in the car before walking into work.

Her husband says, "You are just tired." Her manager praises her results but adds more work. Neha believes she must be strong, and she does not mention her poor sleep, her constant worry or her stomach pain. One day she freezes in a meeting and cannot recall her own presentation.

A colleague privately shares that she once felt the same and that therapy helped. Neha goes to her family doctor, who explains that adult life has heavy pressures, and many women carry a double load of work and care that can lead to anxiety and depression. She starts counselling, talks with her husband about sharing home duties, and asks her manager for realistic deadlines. "I thought asking for help meant failing," she says. "Now I think it was the first sensible thing I did."

Neha now leaves the office at six on two days a week, and her colleagues have started doing the same. She jokes that the first no she said made the sky stay in its place.

How to recognise it

• Constant tiredness, irritability, worry and sleep problems.
• Forgetfulness, trouble concentrating and body complaints with no clear cause.
• Crying or feeling numb, without a clear reason.
• Taking on too much and not asking for help.
• Work and family life both suffering; symptoms lasting more than two weeks.

What this story explains

This story shows adult mental health, workplace stress, the double burden many women carry and how gender expectations affect seeking help.

Probable root causes

• Heavy workload at office and home.
• Belief that she must manage everything alone.
• Little rest, sleep or time for herself.
• Unequal sharing of household and caring duties.
• Workplace culture that rewards overwork.

What to do

1. Admit that you are struggling and tell one trusted person.
2. Talk with your partner or family about sharing duties.
3. Discuss realistic workload and deadlines at work.
4. Protect sleep and a little time each day for yourself.
5. Seek counselling or medical advice early.
6. Look for community or peer support.

Whom to consult

• Family doctor for a general check, including thyroid, anaemia and sleep.
• Counsellor or clinical psychologist for talking support.
• Psychiatrist if low mood, anxiety or sleep problems are heavy or lasting.
• Workplace wellbeing or HR support for adjustments.

Do and don’t

How to behave and communicate

• Use a caring tone: "You are doing so much. How can I take some of it off you?"
• Listen to the full story first.
• Avoid comments such as 'it is just stress'.
• Thank her for specific efforts.
• Offer practical support, not only advice.

Mr Iyer Forgets the Way Home

Mr Iyer, seventy-eight, a retired teacher in Chennai, took the same walk to the temple every morning for forty years. Last month he lost his way and was brought home by a stranger. He repeats the same questions, loses his glasses and sometimes cannot name his grandchildren. He has become suspicious and says things are being stolen.

His family is torn. His son says, "This is just age." His daughter notices that he stopped paying bills, wears the same clothes and gets frightened in the evening. He feels ashamed and angry about it, and he snaps, "I am not a child."

The family takes him to a doctor, who checks his health, vision, hearing and medicines and refers him to a memory clinic. They learn that dementia is a condition that affects memory and thinking, which is different from normal ageing, and that mood problems can look similar. The family sets up a gentle routine, labels doors, stays calm when he repeats himself, and arranges safe walks with company. "He may forget the day," the daughter says, "but he never forgets that we are kind."

On good afternoons he still recites old poems he taught for decades, word for word. His family treasure those moments and record them, a gift to him and to themselves.

How to recognise it

• Memory loss that disrupts daily life, such as getting lost on familiar routes.
• Repeating questions, misplacing things, trouble with money or bills.
• Confusion about time or place, and mood or personality changes.
• Suspicion, fear or evening restlessness.
• Gradual worsening over months, unlike simple forgetfulness.

What this story explains

This story shows older adult mental health, dementia and cognitive disorders and how supportive care keeps dignity and safety.

Probable root causes

• Changes in the brain, with age as a major factor.
• Blood vessel problems, such as after strokes.
• Other illnesses, vitamin deficiency or medicine effects that a doctor can check.
• Depression and loneliness that can mimic or worsen memory loss.
• Hearing or vision problems that add to confusion.

What to do

1. Arrange a full check-up including memory, mood, vision, hearing and medicines.
2. Keep a calm, predictable daily routine.
3. Use simple labels, notes and clocks to help orientation.
4. Make the home safe and walk with him instead of stopping outings.
5. Stay with him when he is anxious, especially in the evenings.
6. Look after the carers' health and share responsibilities.

Whom to consult

• Family doctor or geriatrician for the first review.
• Neurologist or memory clinic for a diagnosis.
• Psychiatrist for older adults if there are mood changes, suspicion or restlessness.
• Social worker or community support group for carers.

Do and don’t

How to behave and communicate

• Speak slowly and clearly with warmth: "Papa, it is time for tea. Come with me."
• Use short sentences and one idea at a time.
• Do not correct harshly; redirect gently.
• Make eye contact and smile.
• Answer repeated questions patiently, as though it is the first time.

Little Zara Learns to Wait

Zara is three and lives in Nairobi with her mother Wanjiru, who returned to work a month ago. Zara used to be sunny, but now she screams at drop-off, throws food and has started saying 'no' to everything. Her grandmother says, "She is spoiling." Wanjiru feels torn and tired.

A nurse at the clinic asks how Zara plays, sleeps and shows feelings. She explains that at this age children are still learning to manage big emotions, and that tantrums often show a need for connection, routine and predictability. Babies and young children need responsive adults, play and steady routines, and early relationships build the base for later mental health.

Wanjiru tries some changes: a short, warm goodbye ritual, ten minutes of floor play each evening with no phone, naming feelings, and a firm but kind way of saying no. When Zara cries, she says, "You are sad. I am here." Within weeks, the screaming eases. Wanjiru starts to see that small, steady moments of attention build the resilience that helps children handle change later in life.

Her grandmother, who had once said Zara was spoiling, now joins the evening play. She laughs that she is learning parenting all over again, and enjoying it more this time.

How to recognise it

• Tantrums, clinging or sleep and feeding changes after a change in routine.
• A child who shows distress through behaviour as she lacks words.
• Signs of healthy development: playing, responding to voices and bonding, which can return with support.
• Warning signs that need review: little eye contact, no babbling or words, loss of skills, or ongoing extreme distress.
• Parents who are tired, guilty or unsupported.

What this story explains

This story shows infancy and early childhood needs, common challenges, supportive parenting and the ways resilience is built.

Probable root causes

• Big changes such as a parent returning to work or a new carer.
• Normal stage of learning to handle strong feelings.
• Tiredness, hunger or too many demands.
• Inconsistent routines or limits.
• Stress in the parents or home.

What to do

1. Keep daily routines for meals, sleep and play predictable.
2. Prepare the child for changes with simple words and a goodbye ritual.
3. Spend short, focused time playing together each day.
4. Name feelings and stay calm during tantrums.
5. Set clear, kind limits and keep them consistent.
6. Look after your own rest and ask family for support.

Whom to consult

• Paediatrician or child health nurse for regular development checks.
• Family doctor if sleep, feeding or behaviour worries continue.
• Child psychologist or developmental specialist if speech, play or bonding seem delayed, or skills are lost.

Do and don’t

How to behave and communicate

• Use a calm, gentle voice and get to her level.
• Say: "You feel angry. I am here. We can try again."
• Use simple words and short sentences.
• Give her your full attention for a few minutes.
• Praise specific actions, such as 'You waited so well'.

This book is for education and general awareness. It does not replace diagnosis or treatment by a qualified professional. If anyone is in danger, contact your local emergency services.