Stress and the Body

Stories, signs to notice and what to do

The Exam Season Knot

Priya, seventeen, lives in Jaipur and is two months away from her board exams. Every evening, when she opens her chemistry book, her heart starts to thump and her palms turn damp. Her stomach feels tight, so she skips dinner, and by midnight she is wide awake, replaying everything she has not yet revised.

Her mother notices that Priya snaps at her little brother, gets headaches by afternoon and has caught three colds in two months. Priya says, "I am fine, I just need to study more." She drinks strong tea late at night to stay alert and scrolls on her phone to 'relax', which leaves her more tired.

On Sunday her aunt, a nurse, sits with her and explains that the body treats a big exam like a threat. It releases stress chemicals to make her alert, which is useful for a short time. But when the pressure goes on for weeks without rest, the same chemicals leave her wired, tired and unwell. Together they plan a small routine: a twenty-minute walk after school, a fixed bedtime, slow breathing before study, and one full free evening a week. Priya is still nervous, but her headaches ease and she starts to sleep. She tells her mother, "I thought being stressed meant I was weak. Now I see my body was just on alert for too long."

How to recognise it

• Racing heart, tight muscles, headaches, stomach upset and poor sleep that appear around a clear demand such as exams.
• Irritability, constant worry and trouble concentrating, even when sitting with the book.
• Frequent minor illnesses, a sign that long stress is wearing the body down.
• Leaning on tea, caffeine or endless scrolling to cope, which tends to make things worse.
• The pattern has lasted weeks with little recovery time.

What this story explains

This story shows the body's fight, flight or freeze response and how short stress helps while long stress without rest harms the body and mood.

Probable root causes

• High expectations from school, family and the young person herself.
• Long periods of study with little rest, movement or sleep.
• Stress hormones staying raised for weeks when the pressure never switches off.
• Perfectionist self-talk such as 'I must not fail'.
• Heavy tea or caffeine use and late-night screen time.

What to do

1. Name it kindly: tell the young person that these body signs are a normal alarm, not a weakness.
2. Build a daily routine with fixed sleep and meal times.
3. Add short breaks, a walk or stretching between study blocks.
4. Teach slow breathing: in for four, out for six, for a few minutes.
5. Cut late caffeine and phone use before bed.
6. Break the syllabus into small daily goals so the load feels manageable.

Whom to consult

• Family doctor if headaches, stomach trouble or poor sleep continue for more than two to three weeks.
• School counsellor or a counsellor at any time the worry is stopping study or sleep.
• Clinical psychologist if the worry grows into constant fear or panic.

Do and don’t

How to behave and communicate

• Use a warm, unhurried tone and sit beside, not across from, them.
• Try: "You have been carrying a lot. What is the heaviest part right now?"
• Reflect back what you heard before offering any solution.
• Say: "Whatever the result, we are with you."
• Avoid checking marks and progress at every meal.

Running on Empty

Rahul, thirty-four, manages a software team in Pune. For two years he has said yes to every request, working until ten at night and answering messages on weekends. At first the deadlines gave him energy. Lately he dreads Monday mornings and feels flat, even when a project goes well.

His wife says he has become distant and short-tempered. Rahul has started to think of his colleagues as 'problems', and he has stopped caring whether the work is good. He gets back pain, a tight jaw and frequent stomach acidity. In the evening he pours a drink 'to switch off', and the amount has crept up.

One day he sits in his car in the office car park for twenty minutes, unable to walk in. That frightens him. He talks to his family doctor, who asks about sleep, mood and work, and explains that this exhaustion, cynicism and feeling of getting nowhere is called burnout. It comes from long, heavy work stress without enough recovery. Rahul speaks to his manager about workload, hands over two projects, restarts his old Saturday football and sees a counsellor. Recovery is slow, but a few months later he says, "I used to think rest was laziness. Now I see it is part of the work."

How to recognise it

• Deep tiredness that sleep and weekends do not fix.
• Growing cynicism or detachment from work and colleagues.
• Feeling ineffective, as if nothing you do matters.
• Body signs such as back pain, jaw tightness, acidity or frequent illness.
• Using alcohol, snacks or screens to cope, with the habit growing.

What this story explains

This story shows burnout and the unhealthy coping that often goes with chronic stress, and how workload, recovery and support help.

Probable root causes

• Long hours and unmanageable workload over many months.
• Little control over tasks and unclear expectations.
• Difficulty saying no and a belief that rest is weakness.
• Not enough recovery time, sleep, exercise or social connection.
• Workplace culture that rewards overwork.

What to do

1. Notice the pattern and admit it to yourself and one trusted person.
2. Review workload with your manager and negotiate what can be delegated or delayed.
3. Protect fixed hours for sleep, meals and movement.
4. Reduce alcohol and replace it with a calming routine such as a walk or music.
5. Reconnect with friends, family or a hobby that is not about performance.
6. Take planned leave if possible, rather than waiting to collapse.

Whom to consult

• Family doctor early, to check body health and sleep.
• Counsellor or clinical psychologist if low mood, anger or hopelessness persist.
• Psychiatrist if sleep, anxiety or mood are severely affected or alcohol use is hard to cut down.
• Workplace HR or a trusted mentor to adjust the load.

Do and don’t

How to behave and communicate

• Listen without hurrying to fix; let the person describe the load.
• Try: "You seem exhausted. Would you like to talk, or shall I just sit with you?"
• Avoid blame such as 'you always overwork'.
• Offer practical help, like taking a chore off their plate.
• Ask gently and often, without pressure.

A New Country, A Heavy Heart

Mei Lin moved from Singapore to Manchester three months ago for her husband's job. She left behind her friends and her work as a teacher. At first she coped, but after losing her brother-in-law back home and failing to find work here, she began to cry easily, sleep badly and avoid going out.

She worries all day about money, about her children's school and about whether she has made a mistake. At times her chest feels tight. She told her friend on the phone, "I am not depressed, and I am not exactly anxious. I just cannot cope the way I used to." Her husband is puzzled because there is no single big event, only many small ones piled up.

A neighbour encourages her to see a doctor. The doctor listens and explains that a stressful change can bring strong emotional reactions that are out of proportion to normal and interfere with daily life. This is sometimes called an adjustment problem, and it usually eases with support and time. The doctor also explains that stress is the response to a demand, while anxiety is the worry that stays even when the demand has gone. Mei joins a local parents' group, has a few counselling sessions and writes a short list of small steps each week. Slowly she starts to feel like herself again.

How to recognise it

• Low mood, tearfulness or worry that began within weeks or a few months of a clear life change.
• Feelings stronger than expected, or trouble managing daily tasks.
• Poor sleep, tight chest, headaches and avoiding people.
• Not enough signs for a full depression or anxiety disorder, but clear distress.
• Usually eases as the situation settles or support grows; if it does not, take it more seriously.

What this story explains

This story shows an adjustment problem after a big life change and how stress differs from anxiety.

Probable root causes

• Major change such as migration, job loss or bereavement.
• Loss of familiar support from friends, family and community.
• Financial and practical worries piling up together.
• Personality style, such as always being the one who copes.
• Isolation and lack of a clear daily routine.

What to do

1. Acknowledge that change is hard and the feelings make sense.
2. Keep a small daily routine with sleep, meals and movement.
3. Reach out to one person each day, in person or by call.
4. Join a local or community group that fits your interests.
5. Break big worries into one small step per day.
6. Look for counselling if the distress is lasting.

Whom to consult

• Family doctor if low mood, worry or poor sleep last more than two weeks.
• Counsellor or clinical psychologist for talking support during a difficult change.
• Psychiatrist if symptoms become severe, or if there are thoughts of not wanting to live; in danger, contact the local emergency number or go to the nearest hospital.

Do and don’t

How to behave and communicate

• Validate first: "This is a lot of change at once. It makes sense you feel this way."
• Be patient, and let her speak at her own pace.
• Avoid pushing quick fixes such as 'think positive'.
• Ask: "What would make this week a little easier?"
• Check in regularly rather than only once.

This book is for education and general awareness. It does not replace diagnosis or treatment by a qualified professional. If anyone is in danger, contact your local emergency services.