The Glass Wall

Daniel Okafor, twenty-two, a student in Manchester, was walking back from the library after weeks of exam stress and little sleep when something odd happened. The street looked flat, like a film set. His own hands seemed to belong to someone else. He felt as if he was watching himself from a short distance. He knew who he was and where he was, but nothing felt real.

It passed after an hour, but returned over the next weeks, usually when he was anxious or exhausted. He told no one, afraid he was going mad. He kept pinching his arm to check he was real, which only made him more frightened.

Finally he told his tutor, who suggested the university counselling service. The counsellor listened and explained that this is a known experience called depersonalisation (feeling detached from yourself) and derealisation (the world seeming unreal). It often appears with stress, panic or past difficult experiences, and is the mind's way of stepping back from overload. She taught him grounding skills: naming five things he could see, pressing his feet on the floor, holding something cold. She also asked about sleep, alcohol and what had been weighing on him, and suggested a medical check.

The episodes grew shorter, and Daniel stopped fearing them. 'It is like a glass wall,' he said, 'but I know now it is not a madness. It is an alarm that has been going off too loudly.'

How to recognise it

Feeling detached from your own body, thoughts or emotions, as if watching yourself.
The world seeming foggy, dreamlike, flat or unreal, while you still know it is not.
Episodes triggered by stress, panic, tiredness, drugs or alcohol, or reminders of difficult events.
Gaps in memory for important personal events, which are more serious signs that need assessment.
Fear of going mad, or distress and difficulty in daily life that lasts.

What this story explains

The chapter's dissociation section describes depersonalisation and derealisation as the mind detaching under overload, and mentions other dissociative problems such as amnesia and identity disorders. It is understandable and treatable.

Probable root causes

Intense or long-term stress, panic or severe anxiety.
Past trauma or difficult childhood experiences.
Lack of sleep, heavy alcohol or drug use.
Some medical causes, such as seizures or migraine, which need to be checked.

What to do

Stay calm and remind yourself: 'This is a stress response and it will pass.'
Use grounding: name things you see, hear and touch, or hold something cold.
Keep regular sleep, meals and exercise, and avoid alcohol and drugs.
Tell a trusted person what you are experiencing.
Seek assessment if episodes keep returning or you have gaps in memory.

Whom to consult

Family doctor to rule out physical causes and to look at sleep, medicines and substance use.
Clinical psychologist or counsellor for grounding skills and therapy, especially if trauma is involved.
Psychiatrist if anxiety, depression or memory gaps are significant.
Neurologist if the episodes come with blackouts, jerking or other physical signs.

Do and don’t

Do	Don’t
Do ground yourself with your senses.	Don't fight the feeling in panic.
Do get enough sleep.	Don't use alcohol or drugs to feel 'real'.
Do tell someone you trust.	Don't hide it out of shame.
Do seek help early.	Don't assume you are going mad.
Do reduce stress where you can.	Don't ignore memory gaps.

How to behave and communicate

Stay calm: 'I am here with you. You are safe. Let's feel our feet on the floor.'
Avoid 'snap out of it' or 'you are imagining it'.
Ask what helps and listen to the answer.
Speak slowly with short sentences when the person feels unreal.
Say 'Thank you for telling me.'