The Girl Who Copied Everyone

Meera, fourteen, from Hyderabad, was polite, top of the class and rarely any trouble. At school she copied how other girls laughed and talked. At home she crumbled. She needed her room dark and quiet, hated the sound of …

Meera, fourteen, from Hyderabad, was polite, top of the class and rarely any trouble. At school she copied how other girls laughed and talked. At home she crumbled. She needed her room dark and quiet, hated the sound of the mixer, and screamed when plans changed at the last minute.

Teachers described her as shy and perfect, so her parents thought the meltdowns were just teenage moods. She had few friends, spent breaks in the library and had started pulling out her eyelashes and feeling anxious and sad.

A school counsellor, hearing about the exhaustion after school, suggested the family see a specialist. The assessment found that Meera was autistic. She had been masking, consciously copying social behaviour, and it was costing her. The family learnt to give notice of changes, use clear language, respect noise sensitivity, build in recovery time, and celebrate her love of drawing maps.

After the diagnosis Meera slept more and stopped pulling out her eyelashes. Her parents put a quiet corner in her room, and her teacher let her take breaks in the library. Meera said it was a relief that she did not need to act all day. At a weekend club for map lovers, she found two friends who liked the same things, and she did not need to copy anyone.

How to recognise it

• Exhaustion or meltdowns after school or social events, though she seems fine there.

• Sensitivity to sound, light, touch or taste.

• Strong need for routine and distress when plans change.

• Few close friends, and rehearsed or copied social behaviour.

• Anxiety, low mood or burnout in girls who appear to cope.

What this story explains

This story shows hidden autism in girls and women, masking, sensory load and why good communication and predictable routines matter more than trying to look typical.

Probable root causes

• Autistic wiring in social communication and sensory processing.

• Pressure to fit in, which leads to masking.

• Late recognition because girls often present differently.

• Anxiety and low mood that grow from constant effort.

What to do

1. Notice the pattern of coping at school and collapsing at home.

2. Ask for an assessment from a clinician experienced in girls and women.

3. Make home predictable: visual timetable, advance warning of changes.

4. Reduce sensory triggers and provide quiet recovery time after school.

5. Work with school on adjustments and an individual plan.

6. Build on her interests and strengths.

Whom to consult

• Paediatrician or developmental specialist for assessment.

• A clinical psychologist who understands autism.

• School counsellor and teachers for adjustments.

• A psychiatrist or doctor if anxiety, low mood or self-harm thoughts appear; in an emergency, contact the local emergency number or go to the nearest hospital.

Do and don’t

How to behave and communicate

• Use direct words: "We are leaving at five. I will remind you at half past four."

• Offer visuals or written lists.

• Do not rush answers; wait.

• Say: "You do not have to pretend with me."

• Listen when she describes what is too loud or too bright.