The Empty Flat on Raja Street

Mr Fernandes, seventy, lived alone in Mumbai since his wife died and his children moved abroad. He ate lunch at a different tiffin place each day only to hear other voices. Lately even that stopped because his knees hurt…

Mr Fernandes, seventy, lived alone in Mumbai since his wife died and his children moved abroad. He ate lunch at a different tiffin place each day only to hear other voices. Lately even that stopped because his knees hurt and the stairs felt long.

He began to worry about everything: his pension, his blood pressure, whether his son would call. He lay awake with a tight chest and kept going to the clinic for the same complaint. The tests were normal, but the worry was not.

A young neighbour, Farida, noticed his newspaper piling up. She knocked, accepted tea, and returned the next week. She did not give a speech. She asked about his old work at the port, and he spoke for an hour.

Farida suggested he mention the sleeplessness and worry to the doctor, and she walked with him to the clinic. The doctor treated his knee pain, discussed his anxiety, and suggested the parish senior group and a daily chair exercise routine. Mr Fernandes began to attend on Tuesdays and Fridays. He told Farida, 'I did not know I was lonely. I thought I was just old.'

How to recognise it

• Increasing isolation after bereavement, retirement or children moving away.

• Excess worry about health, money or family, with restlessness and muscle tension.

• Broken sleep, repeated clinic visits, and normal test results.

• Reduced mobility or pain that cuts off social life.

• Statements that suggest being forgotten or a burden.

What this story explains

This story shows the load of later life: bereavement, loneliness, pain and reduced mobility, and how anxiety in older people often shows up as worry about health, money and family, eased by regular social contact and meaningful activity.

Probable root causes

• Bereavement and the loss of daily companions.

• Physical pain and reduced mobility.

• Distance from adult children and community.

• Fear about health, money and the future.

• Ageism, which makes older people feel invisible.

What to do

1. Visit or call regularly, with a specific time each week.

2. Ask about his day and his past, and listen.

3. Check pain, hearing, eyesight and mobility with a doctor.

4. Connect him to a community group, faith group or lunch club.

5. Encourage gentle activity such as walking or chair exercises.

6. See a doctor if worry, low mood or sleeplessness continue.

Whom to consult

• Family doctor, for pain, physical health, sleep and anxiety.

• Psychiatrist or counsellor if worry or low mood is persistent.

• Physiotherapist for safe movement.

• Emergency service or hospital if he has thoughts of ending life.

Do and don’t

How to behave and communicate

• Say 'I would like to hear about your day. Would Thursday suit?'

• Listen to stories without hurrying him.

• Avoid 'you should get out more'; say 'shall we go together?'

• Show respect: use his name and title.

• Speak at an easy pace and keep eye contact.