Psychology for Everyone

The Boy Who Could Not Sit Still

Aryan, nine, studies in a busy school in Ahmedabad. He cannot stay in his seat, forgets his homework, blurts out answers and loses his things. His teacher calls him naughty, and his classmates avoid him after he pushed a…

Aryan, nine, studies in a busy school in Ahmedabad. He cannot stay in his seat, forgets his homework, blurts out answers and loses his things. His teacher calls him naughty, and his classmates avoid him after he pushed a boy in frustration. At home, his father shouts and his mother cries.

Aryan, however, is also kind. He feeds the street dog every morning and knows the names of all the birds on the balcony. He tells his grandmother, "I try to listen, but my head is too noisy. Everyone is angry with me." He has started saying he is stupid.

The school counsellor suggests an assessment. The paediatrician and psychologist find that Aryan has attention and activity difficulties, which are common in children and not caused by bad parenting. The family and school agree on a plan: short tasks, clear routines, seating near the teacher, praise for effort and regular play. His parents learn to notice what he does right. After a few months, Aryan says, "The noise is smaller. Teacher smiles at me now."

His mother says the best change was in the evenings. Instead of reminders and arguments, they now share a short game, and she tells him each night one thing he did well.

How to recognise it

  • Constant restlessness, poor attention and impulsive behaviour in more than one setting, such as home and school.

  • Frequent trouble, scolding and falling self-esteem.

  • Lasting for months, not just on bad days.

  • Underlying kindness and strengths that adults overlook.

  • Possible other causes to check, such as hearing, vision, learning or anxiety problems.

What this story explains

This story shows child mental health issues such as attention difficulties, and the role of family and school in understanding behaviour as a sign of need.

Probable root causes

  • Differences in brain development, often with a family history.

  • Sleep problems or other health issues.

  • Unrealistic expectations and lack of structure at school or home.

  • Stress, such as shouting or conflict at home.

  • Undiscovered learning difficulties.

What to do

  1. Look beyond the behaviour and ask what the child might be struggling with.

  2. Arrange a health and developmental check with a paediatrician.

  3. Work with the teacher on a joint plan with clear routines and short tasks.

  4. Give instructions one at a time and praise good behaviour immediately.

  5. Provide daily physical play and a regular sleep time.

  6. Keep a calm, consistent approach at home.

Whom to consult

  • Paediatrician or family doctor for the first check, including hearing and vision.

  • School counsellor or special educator for classroom support.

  • Child psychologist or child psychiatrist for formal assessment and guidance.

Do and don’t

Do Don’t
Notice and praise effort. Do not label him 'bad' or 'stupid'.
Use clear, simple instructions. Do not punish for things he cannot control.
Keep routines predictable. Do not compare with siblings.
Work as a team with the school. Do not shout or hit.
Encourage his strengths. Do not ignore the school's concerns.

How to behave and communicate

  • Use a calm, warm voice at the child's eye level.

  • Say: "I know it is hard. Let us try the first part together."

  • Give one instruction at a time and check he heard it.

  • Praise specifically: "You packed your bag. Well done."

  • Listen to his side before correcting.