Night Shift, New Baby

Rahul, 33, works night shifts at a call centre in Gurugram. His wife Pooja works days and they have a four-month-old baby. Rahul sleeps in fragments, eats whatever is available at 3 a.m., and has no time to exercise. He …

Rahul, 33, works night shifts at a call centre in Gurugram. His wife Pooja works days and they have a four-month-old baby. Rahul sleeps in fragments, eats whatever is available at 3 a.m., and has no time to exercise. He feels irritable and says he is a bad father.

A senior colleague tells him about anchoring a routine even with shifts. He chooses a fixed sleep window after work, using blackout curtains and a quiet room, and keeps it the same on days off as much as possible. He packs a proper meal, drinks water, takes a short walk during breaks and gets sunlight before sleep time ends.

He and Pooja also set a weekly ten-minute check-in to share tasks and feelings, and one evening a week is just for the two of them while a grandmother minds the baby.

Some days still go wrong; the baby cries and the plan falls apart. Rahul learns to restart at the next meal or sleep rather than abandoning everything. After a month he notices he laughs more with Pooja and feels less on edge. When he still feels low and tired most days, they speak to a doctor together. Pooja says she never knew how lonely his hours had been, and Rahul says he never knew she needed him to speak up. Both feel less alone with the work of the house.

How to recognise it

• Broken sleep from shifts and a young baby.

• Irregular meals and no exercise.

• Irritability, feeling like a failure, low mood.

• Little time for partner or friends.

• Routine collapses after a disruption.

What this story explains

A routine for working adults and parents is a flexible set of basics, and handling disruptions means restarting gently without guilt. When routine is not enough, help is needed.

Probable root causes

• Shift work disturbing body rhythm.

• New parenthood and sleep loss.

• Work pressure and little downtime.

• Isolation and lack of shared tasks.

What to do

1. Fix a sleep window and protect it with dark, quiet conditions.

2. Plan and pack simple, balanced meals.

3. Add short movement breaks and daylight.

4. Hold a short weekly talk with your partner about tasks.

5. Restart the routine after a bad day.

6. See a doctor if low mood continues beyond two weeks.

Whom to consult

• Family doctor if tiredness, irritability or low mood persists.

• Counsellor or psychologist for parenting stress.

• Psychiatrist if mood stays low, or there are thoughts of self-harm; then the emergency service.

Do and don’t

How to behave and communicate

• Say to a partner: "I am tired. Can we plan this week together?"

• Listen without defending.

• Use thank-yous.

• Keep the tone kind and practical.