Heat, Hormones and Hurtful Words

Lakshmi, forty-seven, ran a small tailoring shop in Madurai. Over the past year her periods had become irregular, and she woke drenched at night with hot flushes. In the daytime she felt anxious for no reason, and little things made her furious. Last week she shouted at her teenage daughter Divya over a spilled cup, then wept in the kitchen.

Divya, hurt, said, 'Amma, you have changed.' Her father muttered that this was 'women's moods'. Lakshmi felt both misunderstood and ashamed. She wondered whether she was going mad.

A neighbour who was a retired nurse told her gently, 'At your age, the hormones oestrogen and progesterone start to shift. They influence serotonin and dopamine, the brain chemicals that affect mood, sleep and calm. Progesterone, in particular, has a soothing effect, and when it drops, anxiety and poor sleep can rise. This is common, and there is help.'

Lakshmi visited a gynaecologist, who asked about her periods, sleep and mood, and explained the stage of life she was entering. The doctor suggested simple steps: regular sleep, exercise, less caffeine, and a follow-up. She also asked about Lakshmi's mood and said that if the sadness or anxiety grew heavy, a counsellor or psychiatrist could help too. At home, Lakshmi explained to Divya in plain words what was happening. Divya hugged her and the family began to adjust, offering her the fan and a few quiet minutes in the evening. Her mood did not vanish, but it stopped feeling like a stranger inside her.

How to recognise it

Irregular periods, hot flushes or night sweats together with mood changes.
Sudden irritability, anxiety or tearfulness that feels out of character.
Poor sleep and tiredness that magnify emotional reactions.
Family misreading it as 'attitude' or 'drama'.
Mood changes that become heavy, last weeks, or include hopelessness.

What this story explains

This story shows how reproductive hormones such as oestrogen and progesterone influence mood, sleep and anxiety through brain chemicals like serotonin and dopamine. It teaches that life stages bring hormone changes and need understanding, not blame.

Probable root causes

Changing levels of oestrogen and progesterone around mid-life.
Disturbed sleep from night sweats.
Life stresses at the same time: teenage children, work, ageing parents.
Biological sensitivity to hormone shifts.
Lack of information and support in the family.

What to do

Keep a simple diary of periods, symptoms, sleep and mood for a few weeks.
Visit a gynaecologist or family doctor to discuss symptoms and options.
Maintain regular sleep, exercise, balanced meals and limited caffeine.
Explain what is happening to close family in plain words.
Take short breaks in the day for rest and breathing practice.
Seek mental health help if sadness or anxiety is heavy or lasts.

Whom to consult

Gynaecologist for menstrual changes, hot flushes and hormone-related questions.
Family doctor for general health and to coordinate care.
Counsellor or clinical psychologist for anxiety, irritability or stress.
Psychiatrist if low mood becomes deep, persistent or includes hopelessness.

Do and don’t

Do	Don’t
Do keep a symptom diary.	Don't call it 'just women's moods'.
Do share the information with family.	Don't hide symptoms out of shame.
Do move and sleep regularly.	Don't start or stop hormone treatment on your own.
Do seek medical advice for heavy symptoms.	Don't dismiss severe low mood as a normal phase.
Do give yourself kindness.	Don't take out distress on the family without repair.

How to behave and communicate

Use a gentle, respectful tone and avoid teasing.
Try 'I know your body is going through changes. How can I help?'
Listen without fixing and avoid saying 'calm down'.
Avoid comparing with other women.
After an outburst, repair with 'I am sorry. It was not about you.'