Five Steps for Anil

Anil, 29, in Delhi, has been unusually quiet, has missed work and says little at family dinners. His older sister Rekha feels something is wrong. Remembering a first-aid approach, she decides to follow five steps: Approa…

Anil, 29, in Delhi, has been unusually quiet, has missed work and says little at family dinners. His older sister Rekha feels something is wrong. Remembering a first-aid approach, she decides to follow five steps: Approach, Listen, Give support, Help them reach a professional, and Encourage self-help.

She approaches him privately on a walk and says, "I've noticed you seem low. Can we talk?" She asks him open questions and listens without interrupting. He says he has been unable to sleep and feels hopeless. She asks calmly whether he has thought of ending his life. He says sometimes, but he has no plan, and she thanks him for his honesty.

She says, "You are not alone, and this is not your fault. This is treatable." She offers to go with him to a doctor and helps him make the call. She also suggests small steps like regular meals, walks and sleep.

Rekha tells him she will stay close, and if he feels in danger at any time they will call the emergency service. Anil begins to attend appointments, and the family learns to speak gently and not to dismiss his pain. Rekha keeps checking in by phone each evening, and she learns she does not have to solve everything; she only has to stay close and help him reach care. She also takes care to rest, knowing she cannot support him well when exhausted.

How to recognise it

• Withdrawal and quietness over weeks.

• Missing work or responsibilities.

• Poor sleep and feelings of hopelessness.

• Hints about not wanting to go on.

• Needing a calm, trusted person to talk to.

What this story explains

The five steps give a clear order for helping: reach out and check for danger, listen, offer comfort and information, help the person reach a professional, and build other support.

Probable root causes

• Possible depression.

• Work and life stress.

• Isolation.

• Reluctance to ask for help.

What to do

1. Approach privately and say what you have noticed.

2. Ask directly about suicidal thoughts.

3. Listen without judging and give reassurance.

4. Help him contact a doctor or counsellor.

5. Encourage self-help like rest, meals and activity.

6. If he is in immediate danger, stay with him and contact emergency services.

Whom to consult

• Family doctor as first contact.

• Psychiatrist or clinical psychologist for ongoing care.

• Emergency service or nearest hospital if he has a plan or intent to end his life.

Do and don’t

How to behave and communicate

• Say: "I am worried about you, and I am here."

• Use a slow, steady voice.

• Reflect his words without judging.

• Ask: "Have you thought about ending your life?"