Left on Read

Tariq, nineteen, from Dhaka, sent a message to his best friend Rafi and watched the screen. Seen, but no reply. By evening he was sure Rafi hated him. He sent three more messages, then an angry one, then deleted everything. He needed constant reassurance, and he feared being left. He scrolled through photos of friends at a party he had not been invited to and felt worse.

His girlfriend had ended their relationship two months earlier, and he was still grieving. He stopped eating properly, avoided his classmates, and lay awake. His older cousin Imran saw him one evening and asked, 'Do you feel better or worse after scrolling?' Tariq admitted, worse.

Imran explained that people have different attachment patterns: some crave closeness and fear abandonment, others pull away under stress. These are patterns, not labels for life, and patient, trustworthy people can help anyone move towards security. He suggested limits on night-time scrolling, a call with Rafi instead of messages, and keeping routines.

Rafi had simply been at his sister's wedding. When Tariq phoned, Rafi laughed and apologised. Tariq took time to grieve the breakup, avoided big decisions, and joined a football group. After a few weeks of low mood that did not lift, Imran helped him see a doctor. Tariq said, 'I am more than my last relationship.'

How to recognise it

Intense worry and need for reassurance when a friend does not reply quickly.
Social media leaving you feeling worse, with comparison and fear of missing out.
Grief after a breakup: sadness, poor sleep, loss of appetite.
Avoiding friends and activities.
Low mood lasting weeks and interfering with life.

What this story explains

This story shows anxious attachment patterns, the effect of social media on connection, and the chapter's guidance on grief after the end of a relationship: allow sadness, keep routines, avoid big decisions and seek help if it lasts.

Probable root causes

An anxious attachment pattern shaped by earlier experiences.
The recent loss of a relationship.
Comparison and fear of missing out on social media.
Disturbed sleep and routine.
Limited face-to-face support.

What to do

Ask yourself: 'Do I feel better or worse after scrolling?' and set limits.
Call or meet in person rather than only sending messages.
Allow the sadness after a breakup and lean on supportive people.
Keep routines for sleep, food, movement and study.
Avoid major decisions in the heat of the moment.
See a professional if low mood lasts and affects daily life.

Whom to consult

Family doctor if low mood, poor sleep or appetite continue for weeks.
Counsellor or clinical psychologist to understand attachment patterns and grief.
A trusted elder, friend or teacher for support in daily life.
Emergency service or hospital if there are thoughts of ending life.

Do and don’t

Do	Don’t
Do give yourself time to grieve.	Don't send message after message.
Do reach out to friends.	Don't make big decisions while raw.
Do set screen limits.	Don't compare yourself with edited posts.
Do keep routines.	Don't isolate yourself.
Do remember you are more than the relationship.	Don't use alcohol to numb the pain.

How to behave and communicate

Say to a friend: 'I felt anxious when I did not hear back. Can we speak?'
Listen to feelings behind the words.
Reflect: 'It sounds like you felt hurt and left out.'
Avoid 'get over it'; say 'I am here.'
Keep a warm tone and give your full attention.