Psychology for Everyone

What Farah Said at the Bus Stop

Farah, twenty-two, a college friend of Imran in Karachi, had been quiet for weeks. At the bus stop one evening she said lightly, 'You all would be fine without me.' Then she added that she had been giving away some of he…

Farah, twenty-two, a college friend of Imran in Karachi, had been quiet for weeks. At the bus stop one evening she said lightly, 'You all would be fine without me.' Then she added that she had been giving away some of her books and writing goodbye notes. She laughed it off, but Imran did not.

His stomach dropped. He remembered what he had heard: take talk of death and goodbye seriously. He put his phone away, turned to face her, and asked, 'Farah, are you thinking of ending your life?' She was silent, then her eyes filled. She said yes.

Imran did not argue or panic. He said, 'Thank you for telling me. I am glad you did. I am not going to leave you alone tonight.' He asked whether she had anything at hand that she could use to hurt herself, and she said yes. Imran stayed with her while they asked her older brother to come and remove it safely.

They called the emergency number, and Farah was taken to the nearest hospital, where she was assessed kindly and a care plan was made. The next week, Imran went with her to the first follow-up appointment. Farah later said that being asked directly was what made it possible to say it.

How to recognise it

  • Talk about death, being a burden, or not being around.

  • Goodbyes, giving away belongings, or sudden calm after distress.

  • Looking for ways to harm self, or having access to means.

  • Withdrawal, hopelessness, or substance use after loss, trauma or severe stress.

  • A joking tone around serious statements.

What this story explains

This story shows the suicide prevention steps from the chapter: take talk of death seriously, ask directly, do not leave the person alone, reduce access to means if safe, and call emergency services.

Probable root causes

  • Depression, which can make life feel unbearable.

  • Substance use or severe stress.

  • Trauma, abuse or major loss.

  • Isolation and feeling like a burden.

  • Stigma that stops people from saying how bad things are.

What to do

  1. Take what the person says seriously, even if it is said lightly.

  2. Ask directly and calmly: 'Are you thinking of ending your life?'

  3. Stay with the person and do not leave them alone.

  4. Remove access to anything that could be used to cause harm, only if you can do so safely.

  5. Call the local emergency number or take them to the nearest hospital.

  6. Keep emergency numbers written down and follow up after the crisis.

Whom to consult

  • Emergency service or nearest hospital immediately if there is a plan, intent or attempt.

  • Psychiatrist or family doctor for assessment and treatment afterwards.

  • Clinical psychologist or counsellor for ongoing support.

  • A trusted family member or elder to share the watching, so no one carries it alone.

Do and don’t

Do Don’t
Do ask directly. Don't promise to keep it secret.
Do listen without judging. Don't say 'you have so much to live for.'
Do stay present. Don't argue or lecture.
Do involve emergency help. Don't leave them alone.
Do follow up in the days after. Don't believe asking will plant the idea.

How to behave and communicate

  • Say 'I am glad you told me. I am here with you.'

  • Keep your voice steady and slow.

  • Use their words and listen fully, with phone away.

  • Avoid shock, anger or blame.

  • Ask: 'What would help you stay safe tonight?'