Sita’s Courage and the Gentle Choice

Anjali Sharma, thirty-one, from Varanasi, left a harmful marriage after years of cruelty. She was physically safe now, living with her parents, but her body did not feel it. She startled at footsteps, slept lightly, felt numb, and cried at small things. Her mother prayed daily and asked a yoga teacher to take Anjali to a class.

In the class, the teacher kept saying, 'Close your eyes and surrender,' and touched her shoulders to correct a posture. Anjali froze and left in tears. She felt she had failed at even this.

Her mother remembered the story of Sita, who endured trials, exile and doubt about her own honour, and finally stood in her own dignity. She said gently, 'Sita was not weak for what she suffered, and neither are you.' Anjali's counsellor, a trauma specialist, told her that ordinary class instructions can be hard for survivors, because closing the eyes, being touched and commands to relax may bring back fear. She suggested a trauma-informed way: small practices done by choice, with eyes open, a safe place in the room, no hands-on correction, and the freedom to stop.

Anjali tried gentle stretches at home, slow breathing, and listening to bhajans in the evening. She began therapy as well. She still has hard days. 'I had a say in every step,' she said, 'and that was the first time in years.'

How to recognise it

Being jumpy, numb or tearful after a long period of abuse or fear, even in safe surroundings.
Sleep problems, nightmares or flashbacks, and avoidance of reminders.
Strong reactions to touch, to commands, or to closing the eyes.
Feeling guilty, ashamed or doubting yourself.
Difficulty trusting and feeling safe in the body.

What this story explains

The chapter's section on Sita's trials and trauma-informed yoga shows that survivors need safety, choice and gentleness. Traditional practices can support recovery, but trauma therapy and medical help come first.

Probable root causes

Long-term emotional, physical or sexual abuse or fear.
The body's alarm system staying on after danger has passed.
Shame and blame placed on survivors by themselves or others.
Lack of safe support and unprepared practices that bring back distress.

What to do

Ensure physical safety first; contact the local emergency number if you are in danger.
Seek a trauma-informed counsellor or psychologist.
Choose gentle practices by choice: eyes open, short sessions, no pressure, freedom to stop.
Make a calm, safe corner and routine at home.
Have a trusted person to turn to on hard days.

Whom to consult

Clinical psychologist or counsellor trained in trauma for therapy.
Psychiatrist if nightmares, panic, low mood or sleeplessness are severe.
Family doctor for a general check and referral.
Yoga teacher trained in trauma-informed teaching, only as an addition; emergency services if you are in danger.

Do and don’t

Do	Don’t
Do give choices at every step.	Don't force closed-eye meditation or touch.
Do keep the surroundings predictable and safe.	Don't blame or question the survivor.
Do believe the person's account.	Don't say 'forget it' or 'move on'.
Do let them stop any practice at any time.	Don't use scripture to demand endurance or forgiveness.
Do seek professional trauma care.	Don't push disclosure.

How to behave and communicate

Say 'I believe you, and it was not your fault.'
Offer choices: 'Would you like to try this, or just sit?'
Use a calm, even voice; ask before any touch.
Listen without asking for details.
Say 'You can stop at any time.'