Neha Stops Saying Yes

Neha, thirty-eight, is a project manager in Bengaluru and mother of two. Her day starts at five and ends at midnight: office calls, school lunches, in-laws' needs, house chores. She prides herself on being reliable. Late…

Neha, thirty-eight, is a project manager in Bengaluru and mother of two. Her day starts at five and ends at midnight: office calls, school lunches, in-laws' needs, house chores. She prides herself on being reliable. Lately she has lost her temper over small things, forgets appointments and cries in the car before walking into work.

Her husband says, "You are just tired." Her manager praises her results but adds more work. Neha believes she must be strong, and she does not mention her poor sleep, her constant worry or her stomach pain. One day she freezes in a meeting and cannot recall her own presentation.

A colleague privately shares that she once felt the same and that therapy helped. Neha goes to her family doctor, who explains that adult life has heavy pressures, and many women carry a double load of work and care that can lead to anxiety and depression. She starts counselling, talks with her husband about sharing home duties, and asks her manager for realistic deadlines. "I thought asking for help meant failing," she says. "Now I think it was the first sensible thing I did."

Neha now leaves the office at six on two days a week, and her colleagues have started doing the same. She jokes that the first no she said made the sky stay in its place.

How to recognise it

• Constant tiredness, irritability, worry and sleep problems.

• Forgetfulness, trouble concentrating and body complaints with no clear cause.

• Crying or feeling numb, without a clear reason.

• Taking on too much and not asking for help.

• Work and family life both suffering; symptoms lasting more than two weeks.

What this story explains

This story shows adult mental health, workplace stress, the double burden many women carry and how gender expectations affect seeking help.

Probable root causes

• Heavy workload at office and home.

• Belief that she must manage everything alone.

• Little rest, sleep or time for herself.

• Unequal sharing of household and caring duties.

• Workplace culture that rewards overwork.

What to do

1. Admit that you are struggling and tell one trusted person.

2. Talk with your partner or family about sharing duties.

3. Discuss realistic workload and deadlines at work.

4. Protect sleep and a little time each day for yourself.

5. Seek counselling or medical advice early.

6. Look for community or peer support.

Whom to consult

• Family doctor for a general check, including thyroid, anaemia and sleep.

• Counsellor or clinical psychologist for talking support.

• Psychiatrist if low mood, anxiety or sleep problems are heavy or lasting.

• Workplace wellbeing or HR support for adjustments.

Do and don’t

How to behave and communicate

• Use a caring tone: "You are doing so much. How can I take some of it off you?"

• Listen to the full story first.

• Avoid comments such as 'it is just stress'.

• Thank her for specific efforts.

• Offer practical support, not only advice.