Grandfather Stops Reading

Joseph, seventy-three, lives with his son's family in Kochi. Since his wife died last year and his knees stopped him from his daily walk, he has been sitting in the same chair. He used to read the paper cover to cover. N…

Joseph, seventy-three, lives with his son's family in Kochi. Since his wife died last year and his knees stopped him from his daily walk, he has been sitting in the same chair. He used to read the paper cover to cover. Now it lies folded. He eats little, says he is tired, and sometimes mentions he forgets things.

His family wonders if he is 'just getting old'. His daughter-in-law notices he stopped going to church and sleeps badly. He told the neighbour, "There is no point in going on," but said it so quietly nobody took it seriously.

When his grandson asked him to read aloud together, Joseph's eyes filled. The family took him to the doctor, who checked his blood, medicines and memory and explained that depression in older people often shows as tiredness, forgetfulness and aches, and is not a normal part of ageing. With treatment, a daily walk with the grandson, visits from old friends and a role in school pick-ups, he slowly started reading again. The doctor also explained that if memory problems persisted, it was important to check separately for dementia.

The family also learned to watch for sudden changes in his mood, and they agreed to tell the doctor early if his low spirits came back, rather than waiting until he stopped eating again.

How to recognise it

• Withdrawal, loss of appetite and weight, and lasting tiredness.

• Memory and concentration complaints that began alongside low mood.

• Body aches and sleep problems with no clear medical explanation.

• Remarks like 'there is no point' or 'I am a burden', even if said quietly.

• Following a loss, illness or loss of independence.

What this story explains

This story shows depression in older adults, how it hides behind ageing, and its overlap with memory problems.

Probable root causes

• Bereavement and loneliness.

• Physical illness, pain and reduced mobility.

• Loss of role, routine and independence.

• Some medicines and sleep problems.

• Changes in the brain and earlier mood history.

What to do

1. Take every remark about not wanting to live seriously and talk gently about it.

2. Arrange a full check-up that includes mood, memory, medicines and vision or hearing.

3. Keep a daily routine with light activity and sunlight.

4. Reconnect with friends, faith groups and family tasks.

5. Give a role, such as helping with homework or cooking.

6. If he talks of ending his life, stay with him and contact the local emergency number or go to the nearest hospital.

Whom to consult

• Family doctor or geriatrician for a full health and medicine review.

• Psychiatrist for older adults if low mood lasts more than two weeks.

• Neurologist or memory clinic if memory problems continue or worsen.

• Counsellor or faith leader for grief support.

Do and don’t

How to behave and communicate

• Speak slowly and clearly, with warmth and respect.

• Try: "Papa, I have missed our chats. Tell me about Mummy's cooking."

• Allow time for answers.

• Face him, make eye contact and listen to repeated stories patiently.

• Show you value him, not just his care needs.